I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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