how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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