my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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