..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
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while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
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How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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