if i can run in heels then i can drive
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
