that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
