Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Randomize
