I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
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you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
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He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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