So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
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