There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
