ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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