I look better un-naked...
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
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I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
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He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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