found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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