So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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