Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
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