i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
