You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
