Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
