is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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