Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
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