I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
