Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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