you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
