she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
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I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
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Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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