I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
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