I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Randomize
