what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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