The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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