the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
