Texts From Last Night

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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Apparently you make a good broom.

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  (919): Apparently you make a good broom. http://tfl.nu/3otj
  Replies (8) Good night (706) Bad night (873)
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  (416): View more from Ontario

  I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...

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  (416): I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment... http://tfl.nu/srde
  Replies (8) Good night (3001) Bad night (877)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.

  (1-202): View more from Washington, DC

  I mean not really

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.

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  (202): Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult. (1-202): I mean not really (202): Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible. http://tfl.nu/azl7
  Replies (25) Good night (3000) Bad night (870)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  where are you?

  (1-404): View more from Georgia

  sonic

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.

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  (404): where are you? (1-404): sonic (404): Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs. http://tfl.nu/pjgu
  Replies (25) Good night (5286) Bad night (739)
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  (914): View more from New York

  My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.

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  (914): My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off. http://tfl.nu/9ogm
  Replies (11) Good night (1948) Bad night (4230)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country

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  (703): Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country http://tfl.nu/u6pi
  Replies (27) Good night (4679) Bad night (924)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?

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  (270): I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today? http://tfl.nu/zwes
  Replies (5) Good night (1937) Bad night (732)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon

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  (937): We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon http://tfl.nu/2kt0
  Replies (12) Good night (1883) Bad night (752)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.

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  (813): So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges. http://tfl.nu/t5l6
  Replies (6) Good night (1775) Bad night (581)
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  (516): View more from New York

  So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence

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  (516): So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence http://tfl.nu/140k
  Replies (6) Good night (1588) Bad night (1058)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.

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  (503): Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination. http://tfl.nu/nd2x
  Replies (7) Good night (1647) Bad night (601)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years

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  (978): The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years http://tfl.nu/zb6z
  Replies (7) Good night (950) Bad night (1212)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.

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  (619): A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions. http://tfl.nu/3eld
  Replies (0) Good night (457) Bad night (352)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.

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  (602): You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs. http://tfl.nu/mu1s
  Replies (4) Good night (584) Bad night (306)
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  (308): View more from Nebraska

  Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.

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  (308): Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts. http://tfl.nu/4na0
  Replies (0) Good night (571) Bad night (161)

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