Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

Well apparently he's into motor boating.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.

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(408): View more from California

um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.

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These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
Read it at the TFLN blog
(512): View more from Texas

dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf

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(818): View more from California

two words...techno handjob

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(716): View more from New York

Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases

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(571): View more from Virginia

I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."

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(647): View more from Ontario

I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.

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