Texts From Last Night

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  (435): View more from Utah

  oh god the rape fog is back!

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  (435): oh god the rape fog is back! http://tfl.nu/bgw9
  Replies (11) Good night (755) Bad night (1049)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin

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  (262): Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin http://tfl.nu/0pd1
  Replies (65) Good night (3836) Bad night (430)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.

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  (205): Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit. http://tfl.nu/78iu
  Replies (9) Good night (933) Bad night (3843)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.

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  (757): Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore. http://tfl.nu/pqxc
  Replies (31) Good night (1531) Bad night (4733)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."

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  (814): In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands." http://tfl.nu/l3oo
  Replies (17) Good night (9313) Bad night (1493)
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  (806): View more from Texas

  You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.

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  (806): You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito. http://tfl.nu/i4sd
  Replies (19) Good night (6461) Bad night (950)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  She's the barista slut.

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  (240): She's the barista slut. http://tfl.nu/aqi5
  Replies (14) Good night (2533) Bad night (888)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.

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  (604): As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck. http://tfl.nu/89l5
  Replies (14) Good night (2497) Bad night (671)
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.

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  (931): Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned. http://tfl.nu/a2rg
  Replies (14) Good night (2077) Bad night (464)
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  (623): View more from Arizona

  Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer

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  (623): Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer http://tfl.nu/er6w
  Replies (4) Good night (622) Bad night (1181)
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  (660): View more from Missouri

  I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.

  (417): View more from Missouri

  It's called being normal.

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  (660): I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals. (417): It's called being normal. http://tfl.nu/c2qe
  Replies (9) Good night (1350) Bad night (479)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.

  (1-715): View more from Wisconsin

  Is that what happened to my face?!

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  (715): There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders. (1-715): Is that what happened to my face?! http://tfl.nu/edsg
  Replies (3) Good night (1349) Bad night (490)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die

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  (717): Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die http://tfl.nu/2ynw
  Replies (3) Good night (405) Bad night (1243)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family

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  (917): Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family http://tfl.nu/7bwr
  Replies (1) Good night (206) Bad night (504)
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  (386): View more from Florida

  Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today

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  (386): Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today http://tfl.nu/fdks
  Replies (1) Good night (756) Bad night (214)

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