do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Randomize
