whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
