He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
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To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
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So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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