i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Farmville is her only friend.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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