everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
fuck your aforementioned shoe
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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