I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize