If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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