I hate all girls vehemently.
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
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