we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
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Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
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I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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