Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
