apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
