when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
