You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
