did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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