Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
