Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
