Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize