hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
