"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Operation Purity has been aborted
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
