summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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