we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I stole a fireplace last night.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Randomize
