Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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