Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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