dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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