Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Randomize
