All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
