check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
You're like the curious george of whores
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
