okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
