Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
My life is pants optional.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
