omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
